Thursday, October 18, 2012

Is this Rage Really Mine?

There was a television show last century on British TV called Whose Life is it Anyway? As far as I can recall the show was about people who were living self-empowered lives in seemingly difficult personal circumstances.

But when I started writing about the “Is this Anger Really Mine?”- question, it wasn't originally so much about self-empowerment, as about the downsides of one's hidden compassion and some of the difficulties with “bearing one another's burdens.

Anyone who has done any Access Consciousness-work with the likes of Rikka Zimmerman (now independent), Dain Heer or Nikki Magdalena, will have used the “Who does this belong to?”-question about one's thoughts, body-feelings, emotions, etc. According to GaryDouglas, Access' founder, 97% of our thoughts, body-feelings, emotions, etc., do not actually “belong to us” but we've picked them up on the inner empathy-waves. Gary's suggestion: Send them back to sender with Consciousness - and clear.

I feel that 97% is probably a rather exaggerated figure, but I embrace the concept of so many of us taking on others' stuff without realizing it. I tend to be “over-empathetic” - so being able to feel and know that so many of the unpleasant or challenging thoughts and feelings I experience haven't originated in “me-on-this-Earth-in-this-version-now” is really an enormous relief. It means, for starters, that I can more concentrate on what
has originated in me and focus on healing that (with God's help!)

But there are several problems for me with
Access-Gary's return-to-sender method.

The first is that it sits so uneasily with my “Jesus-gene” - Paul of Tarsus in his
Letter to the Galatians (6:2) writes that carrying one another's burdens fulfills the Christ-Law; I am loathe to encourage that “selfish place” in me where I would make a habit of stopping feeling compassion for others in their difficulties, even if it does, indeed, lighten my load. “Sending back with consciousness” doesn't cut it with me. My own decision is to “zap it” - see the video, here. It's a very easy process and it really has a good effect.

The second is, as I see it, that we are often called upon by the Spirit to feel a variety of things in the cosmic play of creation, both uplifting and challenging, so that we can do
our own part in bringing the world to a better place. It's important to me to play my part in the Divine-web-of-all-Life, seen and unseen, and its unfolding. Daring to feel and acknowledge discomfort-in-this-world changes things more often than we can imagine.

The third is to do with deeper personal healing, and maybe, empowerment; personal healing is also so often a mirror of needed community healing, too. If we have a recurring feeling or thought or experience, and it keeps happening again and again, and it doesn't go away, even though we have tried so many different methods (maybe both practical and inner-life spiritual and psychological) then there is a good chance that what we experience as a problem may well be a
hidden strength or a vital-for-our-wellbeing unfulfilled need. In re-finding this strength or need we may be fulfilling our deeper purpose to help others, too - through personally owning what is going on and using it.
We are all much more inter-connected in the weave of life than our individualistic socity would have us believe.

When it comes to dealing with challenging and unpleasant experience, ancient body-wisdom can be very helpful.

Traditional Chinese Medicine shows us that any powerful energetic system in the body is available to be used both for constructive as well as for destructive purposes. It is a good model here; life-affirming passion and life-debilitating rage are both functions of the Liver Meridian Channel - they originate from the same source! And in the west we often refer to our Life-blood (which the liver enables) as the energy which drives us.
Given this possibility, may I suggest the following;-

- really
feel/own what is going on (the opposite of trying to fight it)
- breathe slowly and deeply and honour the feeling/thought/experience
- ask to be shown the gift and strength of this feeling/thought/experience
- let go, stop worrying, and know that the Spirit will show you in Her own time
- walk away, leave it – if you feel the angst again, repeat the breathing

This often works! With amazing feelings of Joy and fulfillment inside.
And when we allow ourselves to know that we are also doing Spirit-work for others at the same time, then the experience of Joy and the fulfillment becomes many-splendoured.

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